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[personal profile] concretekiss
inside out
"We talk about being able 'to control ourselves,' but self-control is a rare and remarkable virtue. We may think we have ourselves under control; yet a friend can easily tell us things about ourselves of which we have no knowledge." - Jung

What is it about time-lapsed cloud movement that tears me apart?

The vampire bat drinks blood, yes, though moves so slowly and carefully that his prey, often a sleeping cow, never notices it is being accessed.

No one would save up to have a surgery to unnecessarily remove a lung, in order to disable himself, though many people use large portions of their paychecks to facilitate a habit that leads to a similar outcome.

There are those at the pool who dive in without testing the temperature, like myself, while others gradually submerge, growing accustomed to the water as they descend the steps, prolonging the inevitable.

A film trick in comedy is to speed up the scene, in turn making the characters seem more delirious and chaotic.

Often disasters are recalled in slow motion; an expensive vase shattering, a car spinning out of control on black ice. Timing is everything.

I ridiculously try to piece things together, force them to make sense, but they sit as comfortably as Barbie on her motorcycle.

Fools rush in. Life is too short. Stop to smell yr rosebuds while ye may. Patience is a virtue. Carpe the diem while the iron is hot.

And what constitutes carpeing the diem? If it is silently and harshly judging people from the window of my ratty Toyota, then I have done so today in the back-to-school traffic. Shopping class supplies and new shoes. A's feet are now bigger than mine. He is so proud. Keep growing child, o, the errands I have in store for you.

An industrious and semi-relaxing weekend. There was an arresting movie at the Paramount, running around a fountain, climbing on stuff, skipping down Congress, many laundries and a quick and chatterly visit to a long lost friend who's next door neighbor's new baby tried three time to nurse from me, twice waiting for a few seconds and then lunging at a breast as though she could catch me unawares. I have a counter move, where I turn and give her my shoulder instead. She furrows her brow, foiled again. Breastfed babies got no pride.

My littles sleep now, their clothes laid out for tomorrow. The apartment is rarely clean, my book is delicious, and the wine is well deserved. Praise be.

Date: 2008-08-25 04:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cowboyjesus.livejournal.com
I'm guessing that the time lapse clouds effect is something akin to perceptual shock. Moving so slowly one can't perceive it being as alive as it looks in time lapse.

There was a thing on "The Infinite Mind" a while back about people who have severe perceptual disorders regarding time. You ought to give it a listen if you get a chance.

I think it's just being extra sensitive. You have a cross sensory translative capacity. Lots of good poets and artists have it.
Van Gogh for example.

Date: 2008-08-25 05:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flightviolation.livejournal.com
i'm very interested in that radio show. i will have to start listening in.

the clouds moving so quickly is shocking to me and they are definitely personified. i cry for some reason. and there is a relief involved, almost happy tears. i don't even know what i'm trying to explain or understand. :(
hmmm, VanGogh didn't know how to act right.

Date: 2008-08-25 06:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cowboyjesus.livejournal.com
No, he didn't. Hence the trouble of being in the world he lived in.
I think the Don MacLean song, "Starry, Starry Night" conveyed some of that, especially the end lines.

Date: 2008-08-25 05:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zombienought.livejournal.com
Vampire bats do pretty well at gleaning from sleeping
humans, too.

I saw somebody the other night calling those cigarette
girls on 6th Street "cancer faeries".

Date: 2008-08-25 05:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flightviolation.livejournal.com
did not know about the sleeping humans bat heist. sneaky lil buggers.

i snark at my smoker frinz at work, gettin they cancer awn.

Date: 2008-08-25 07:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zombienought.livejournal.com
I just saw an article this month about how a tribe
in the Amazon lost like a score of people due to
rabies from the bats. It's not uncommon, as Google
shows me.

I used to be all, "omg if we're gonna build a life
together, i don't wanna see you die of cancer."
But just recently, I realised that, given the fact
all the online life-expectancy calculators tell me
I'm going to die at 54 (I gained two years when I
got fat, and stopped exercising, leaving the house,
and working!) that's not really a valid excuse for
why I don't like smoking. Now I just have to say,
"Don't rub your nicotine fingertips all over my
paper-thin skin!"

Date: 2008-08-25 11:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flightviolation.livejournal.com
hahaha. my life expectancy is lesser than that of a smoker for being left-handed! i'm a walking depression susceptible work hazard.

Date: 2008-08-25 11:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zombienought.livejournal.com
Hey! I didn't know you were sinister. It makes
sense though; all the cool people are sinistral,
or at least ambiguous. Have pity on our poor,
overused, corpora callosa.

Try to stay away from machining jobs.

You are awake way too early.

Date: 2008-08-25 01:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flightviolation.livejournal.com
1st day of school for the mini-mes! been up since 6:15. it is such ass.

Date: 2008-08-26 06:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pills.livejournal.com
oh my! how was the first day?

Date: 2008-08-26 03:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flightviolation.livejournal.com
my boy is sad. he doesn't know anyone and is shy. :(
my girl made two friends tho. she is more outgoing.

they'll acclimatize soon tho. both are very likeable and smart.

i like this post

Date: 2008-08-25 05:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quiet-flame.livejournal.com
SO jealous of your clean apartment and delicious book. That's my favorite.

I am a hesitant water-descender, not a jumper. That is probably why you are awesome and I am a petrified monkey turd.

i like yr whole all yr stuff

Date: 2008-08-25 05:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flightviolation.livejournal.com
my apt. is never clean. this is like total eclipse of the heart.

don't torture yrself, cher. jump IN! i'll hold yr haaaaand.

Date: 2008-08-25 06:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tuckova.livejournal.com
They would save up for the surgery maybe if it made them look cool to only have one lung, or if they considered it a noble form of suicide, or if they had extraordinarily fidgety hands.

I'm thinking of quitting, which would make it the first thing I quit that I really enjoy, but I'm starting to feel kind of stupid for spending increasing sums of money because I think twiddling my thumbs in a pub is dorky.

What is your delicious book?

Date: 2008-08-25 07:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zombienought.livejournal.com
There *are* the few random people on BME who like
to hack off toes, fingers, arms, etc.

And yes, what's the book?!

Date: 2008-08-25 11:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flightviolation.livejournal.com
i quit 3 yrs ago on my girl's birthday. she would have these crying spells about how i was going to leave her motherless. the guilt started to mess w/ me. from quitting i gained about 15 lbs. and lost it after the 1st year. i'd been smoking since age 15. i used alot of denial on myself (ie: this isn't so bad. this is nothing. big deal. i need a carrot)

Carl Jung's Man and His Symbols.

Date: 2008-08-26 12:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zombienought.livejournal.com
I've not read hardly any Jung, given more to things
like studying hemispheric specialisation and oral
fixation than symbols of the oversoul, but that's a
pretty reasonable quote from him.

You need a carrot? What about a stick?
From: [identity profile] lowhumcrush.livejournal.com
"don't smoke, lil fire breather."


Piper is 5'8 and has a size 11 shoe. She is twelve.
I don't think I can beat her up for much longer.

Jung is magic. And so are yr boobs.

cute boy 5 yrs ago

Date: 2008-08-25 01:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flightviolation.livejournal.com
"you smoke? i didn't think you would. you seem really smart"

ouch!

jeez. Pipes is bigger than me. LOL. adopt me Rachel!

that baby had a better sneak attack than most men. little ninja. she was like "hey look over there it's a firetruck!" and then "raaaar!"

Date: 2008-08-25 12:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] euqort.livejournal.com
Breastfed babies got no pride.

that whole section had me snorting with laughter

I quit smoking 3 years ago July 14. I am proud of us.

Date: 2008-08-25 01:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flightviolation.livejournal.com
No boob is safe from the breastfed babe.
I'm proud of us too, love. So glad my mood is not at the mercy of it anymore. We've enough to stress ourselves as it is.
From: [identity profile] pills.livejournal.com
my friend's new one does this to me and i dont have the shoulder swipe move down. she looks all drunk and gets so pissed and will do this patting around move that reminds me of like a blind frog w/ the fingees all outstretched and flat. soo funny
From: [identity profile] flightviolation.livejournal.com
hilarious! their heads are all wobbly.
this one was trying to climb around my shoulder to attack from behind! stealthy as a drunk panther.

OH her fat cheeks and belly just haaaaangin' there. I can barely stand it.
From: [identity profile] clsisold.livejournal.com
I quit smoking a little over 4 years ago, I had smoked for 44 years, when I quit I was smoking no less than 2 and a half packs a day. I'm not sure why but I was able to just quit, possibly because the benefits were immediate; waking up the next morning without a cough, without a headache, no sinus problems. When Jennifer was here last month she smoked and I was surprised that I had no problem with it (that is if you don't count my sinuses hurting, my head aching and my coughing all the time). Not wanting one of her cigarettes might have had to do with her smoking a crappy brand.

Although I had smoked for a hell of a long time and quickly went through a pack of cigarettes, a lot of my cigarettes would just burn out in the ashtray because of needing my hands free for typing or sewing or painting or drawing or just plain handiwork then I got a Sega Genesis and learned to smoke a cigarette by just letting it dangle between my lips which freed up my hands for the game paddle and frequently put my non-smoking opponent at a disadvantage. Well, it was probably an equal mix of that and the fact that he was 7 years old.
From: [identity profile] flightviolation.livejournal.com
that was another thing that irked me. i would find cigarettes i'd left burning, so i knew it was only habit, i was barely even enjoying them. so i began to deprive myself of them at certain 'habit times' i would stop smoking on the way to work, and next with coffee, then first thing in the am, until i could only have one at the least likely time for me to want. i go out w/ my smoker friends on their breaks and it doesn't phase me at all. it feels so good to be out of the forest. now coffee. that's different. ;)
From: [identity profile] pills.livejournal.com
hahaha the subtlest passive aggressiveness "THAT IS IF U DONT COUNT".... it made me giggle.

& a bad brand kills the joyy. i quit 3 years ago by buying a brand i didn't like and it really just killed it.

Date: 2008-08-25 05:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] browniegirl322.livejournal.com
i like your peechur. and you too.

Date: 2008-08-25 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flightviolation.livejournal.com
thank you. now, post pics ov u in nothing but your new shoes <3

Date: 2008-08-25 10:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] donttouchmyhat.livejournal.com
Breastfed babies got no pride

Lyle represent!

Date: 2008-08-25 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flightviolation.livejournal.com
ha! is that a Lyle Lovett song?
holy crap.

Date: 2008-08-25 10:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] donttouchmyhat.livejournal.com
You didn't know? Ha, I thought you were paraphrasing. "Fat babies got no pride."

And ouch ex-smoker.

Date: 2008-08-26 01:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flightviolation.livejournal.com
I don't know any L.L. songs, axshully. :o

Do cigars even count as smoking?

Date: 2008-08-26 05:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] donttouchmyhat.livejournal.com
WHAT?? Have you ever been to Austin? Passed through Texas once or twice??

I'd say they count as motivational zen time but an ex-girlfriend insisted it was still smoking and totally yechhh.

Date: 2008-08-26 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sofarfrom78.livejournal.com
I love when you write like this.

That quote is so true about friends telling us things about ourselves that we don't even have knowledge of (think of my shock when Shawn told me that I lock the doors like a maniac and that I can't go anywhere alone. Seriously, I never noticed these things!)

Did your little ones (wait! one little one and one big one) have a good day at school?? Zye started his first day, too, and of course the bus was late and the mosquitoes were vicious. Fortunately, they started a new program here where all kids get a free breakfast in the classroom, which rocks (but not so much for Zye, who complained that the school's idea of breakfast is Bran Flakes. Ha!). I was so sad to send him off on the bus this morning!! :(

Date: 2008-08-26 01:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flightviolation.livejournal.com
heh, you like my stream o conscious ramblings. ;)

the littles each went to a different school this year since we moved. my boy walks home, which terrifies me, and my girl i must leave work to retrieve b/c i refuse to let her walk home alone. they are trying to remain positive with the new place. i'm anxious to get them into the routine, though this supply and lunch money thing is taking a new chunk from my budget. booo to that.
this is when child-support would really be nice. ah well.

my bff called me a bridge burner a couple years ago. she was right on the mark too. i was stunned. and now i notice the tendency in myself looming before it happens, and give myself time to question my reasons.
a good friend is as valuable as, or moreso than any shrink, i'd say.
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