i'll send an s.o.s. to the world i'll send an s.o.s. to the world

[concretekiss]

Across the street they are tearing down a large building. Throughout the day I snuck moments to gaze out the window & watch men smash things with sledge hammers. One would tire & hand the hammer to another who would begin wailing away. I wondered if they were gentle as lambs at home, having shattered windows & kicked in brick walls all day. I wanted to ask if I could help.

There is a divide, in eljay frienddom, between people who are internet friends and people who step out of the former, into your life, and offer you their hand. I play mine close to my chest and don't mention how that matters. - A Wise, Eloquent & Beautiful Woman

Being cantankerous, with heavy soda-shaken heart, refusing to retain a superficial network of replaceables or become one to anyone else, being at times unreasonably scrupulous about things such as dependability & character, having trust issues, preferring quality to quantity, I have very few real life friends, but hoooo are those I have really something. There is this one long lanky girl who I met at age 7 & have heaved through 20 years & this...I wish you could hear the offkey Serenade of Love on my answering machine. Another I'ma call after I'm done with this entry has the most rewarding giggle & sweetpotato pie with praline liqueur in the whipcream. In some of you I see the bff potential, a life-time warranty & wish I could have you shipped out to me. Many of you I've never met, yet, have over the years read the thoughts I cannot manifest anywhere else &, silly I know, it's just now struck me. You people are getting my bottled & sea-strewn messages.

Blues in the park is coming soon. I can't believe I've only just begun to dance publicly two years ago, & am now learning the secret language. I began with my eyes closed & for only a short spurt, never for an entire song, afraid to catch someone pointing at me, belly clutched in laughter. But if by chance you open your eyes to see someone closeby, smiling, nodding along I think it means you don't dance bad.

Also, my paycheck is SO big & sexy. Caring for two little ones alone in the big city with no support I deserve a pat on the butt.

I would like to somehow understand what in Chopin's nocturnes brings me to tears. They are only notes. Maybe it is the way they are spaced, sometimes like lamenting chirps? There HAS to be some sort of scientific explanation.

Comments

[pangea-tongue.livejournal.com]

Chopin always brings me to tears. Oh damn.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

yeah. it doesn't matter what kind of mood i'm in. powerful stuff. it's like slicing vidalia onions.

[pangea-tongue.livejournal.com]

It's like smashing-your-funny-bone tears

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

or getting hit in the nose a certain way. i'm listening again. it's like a an awkward & vulnerable confession. it picks up speed as if nervous & then slows painstakingly & aaaaaah.

my daughter's a drummer, but

[lowhumcrush.livejournal.com]

I was at the spring concert last night and burst into tears during Chopin.

Re: my daughter's a drummer, but

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

& then the ridiculous part is i go BACK & listen again. mmmmm fiber for the tearducts.

[penguingod.livejournal.com]

I feel ya'...

...well, except for the paycheck thing. My paychecks are depressing.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

aw, maybe you should tell them you got another offer (for a million fifillion shabba-doo-DILLION $!$!$!$!s) & see what they do?

we have known eachother almost 3 years, max. shouldn't you buy me a ring?

[penguingod.livejournal.com]

It really has been that long, hasn't it? Trust me, darlin', had I the means, I'd buy you a ring, the jewelry store that sold it to me, and the Orange Julius next to it.

I've got a few ideas floating around to get the money situation taken care of. It'll take some time, and some sacrifices, but I'm sure I'll get things arranged.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

i think you'll be alright, shug, because you have a strong heart. & i probably like onion rings better than diamond ones. ;)

[penguingod.livejournal.com]

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

ooooooyou'll spoil me.

[penguingod.livejournal.com]

There's a diamond in one of those.

[mojodragonfly.livejournal.com]

I can't believe you've only begun to dance publicly two years ago.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

wait, almost 3. i just found an entry where it was on a list of things to do before dying.

you know, the first time was in oilcan's with chris lee. i guess it was easier to let go because i knew no boys were watchin' my goofass.

[mojodragonfly.livejournal.com]

Chris has an odd power of setting people free in brief moments. They add up, though. He's a natural superstar.

I've seen you dance scandolous at the Whiskey Bar. Oh yeah. Don't deny it.

From what I've witnessed, you're a fast learner.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

yeah i'm a late bloomer.
chris moves quick when out & about & you gotta keep up chopchop. (hereputthisdollarinthatguy'sunderwear&finishyrdrinklesgo!)

& heeehehe. hehe. whiskey bar was miss rachel + percussion.

[cowboyjesus.livejournal.com]

The 24 Preludes makes a nice college graduation gift
one would think.
I bought Horowitz's recording for that certain someone with my last ten bucks.
Ten years later she preferred an Enigma album.
Ten years more and the depth of sorrow reaches
places I never knew existed!

in Bach's "Chaconne", Partita for Violin.




Science, Bah!

"I could cry salty tears
Where have I been all these years
A little while, tell me now
How long has this been going on?

There were chills, up and down my spine
Yes, there're thrills I can't define
Listen sweet, while I repeat
How long has this been going on?

Oh I could feel that I could melt
Into heaven I'm hurled
Oh I know how Leif Erickson felt
Finding another world
Kiss me once, and then once more
Oh what a dunce I was before
What a break, for heaven's sake
How long has this been going on?"

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

aw the last ten bucks. she must've been something.

[cowboyjesus.livejournal.com]

Sheesh! Took me a whole day to read that as sarcasm. Or was it?

She wasn't really something just then. We dated after that, but then she moved back to Texas, desperate for a job, for family connection, who knows?

After a month of missing her I would chase after her, finding myself under some immense panhandle landscapes further from home than I'd ever been alone. She'd not only become something. She'd become "something else"!

(Thems was 1984 dollars, with Reagan in office, earned by a struggling house-painter with a bum vehichle - 1967 Volvo, with a really sad "Wolf's Chili red" home-painted color that kids would point at and laugh as I rolled down Congress Avenue).

[pluginthejebus.livejournal.com]

You deserve all of life's sweetness by simply being you, I hope you have everything you need.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

backatcha, i am grateful to know you mr.

Mwah!

[tericol.livejournal.com]

Kisses to you sweetness.

Re: Mwah!

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

kisses & sarongs & bright pink pedicures!

I am sooooo in your corner

[euqort.livejournal.com]

and have been since I met you.

*pats butt*

*does Snoopy dance*

Re: I am sooooo in your corner

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

oh thank you that was nice. you know when i think of you, you are in a white dress, & with red cowboy boots under a spotlight like the first time i saw you & thought an angel.

hello!! This is a poem, to me! SEE:

[browniegirl322.livejournal.com]

(let's try this again, stupid html....)

Across the street they are tearing
down a large building. I snuck
moments to gaze out the window & watch
men smashed things with sledge
hammers. One would tire & hand
the hammer to another who would begin wailing away.
I wondered if they were gentle as lambs
at home, having smashed windows & kicked in brick
walls all day. I wanted to ask if I could help.

SEE?
I hope you dont mind that i did that.

Re: hello!! This is a poem, to me! SEE:

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

mmmm you have a good eye! i could use you to help me pick out what to wear AMs.

Re: hello!! This is a poem, to me! SEE:

[browniegirl322.livejournal.com]

okay! just fly me in every mornin'!

re "caring for two little ones alone in the big city with no support"

[just-jeff.livejournal.com]

it every once in a while crosses my mind how awesome you are for that, and how you had to push back strong against a shitty deal of the cards to get here!

man, if one coulda bought stock in stacie, inc. just a few years ago...

Re: re "caring for two little ones alone in the big city with no support"

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

awwwh thank you so much jeff. i did have to wing it back then & it took a while for me to finally find my groove after The Transition, but here i am a little shabby but all limbs still intact. :)

[jezebelly.livejournal.com]

There is this one long lanky girl who I met at age 7 & have heaved through 20 years & this...I wish you could hear the offkey Serenade of Love on my answering machine.

i have a friend just like that. i'm the only one who lets her sing. she also writes me BAD poetry and we giggle.

and hey, guess what? you're gonna meet me in August. hee!

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

oh & BAD poetry is sooooo great for its cheese factor. you gotta keep that one around. :)

i can't wait to meet you!

:*

[rebirtha.livejournal.com]

well shit.

(that's kisses-mouth, not anus-mouth, if you were torn)

<----

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

here is my kissy mouth, mmmmmmmmuah!

deficiency of betty crocker gland?

[rebirtha.livejournal.com]

much nicer. My pout is a little anemic, even though my lips are not.

[mr-quackenbush.livejournal.com]

einsterzende Neubauten!

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

bonzai!

[liquid-siftings.livejournal.com]

Chopin is très émouvant, definitely. There is some Schubert that has the same effect on me. Something that unlocks the emotional self and leads it outside the self, vibrant, tender, and joyous.

And congrats with the paychecks. A little security is a lovely thing.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

if you can tell me what Schubert songs yr referring to i'd like to search for them.

Because Chopin unlocked a Slender Mystery.

[slomosexual.livejournal.com]

His waltzes do it to me. & I like it ugh. I like to sit in a window with my sad little cassette playing & cry my eyes out & feel all movie star & tragic. I am not kidding or being sarcastic.

It makes me feel like my life has more meaning than it perhaps does; it makes me feel like someone, at some time, writ the music of my inner workings without knowing me. This gives me hope, that there is some connection & grandiosity to my existance, & then I play Me First & the Gimme Gimmes & dance around my apartment in pursuit of t' other.

Re: Because Chopin unlocked a Slender Mystery.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

i agree it sounds very intimate & internal. amazing that it reaches so many this way.

like shameless pleading & it stings like pulling stitches out.

(i have made THE most awesome Me 1st & Gimmes mix. Ander likes to play it blaring & fast on the highway with the windows down)

Re: Because Chopin unlocked a Slender Mystery.

[slomosexual.livejournal.com]

the image of A singing his heart out with M1st while the wind rollicks his hair is quite teh awse