dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life

[concretekiss]

This weekend I fueled up on enough coffee to clean my room, my walk in closet, & get some laundry done

&
had my "daily recommendation" of water which is probably why I've been in the bathroom twice as much

&
culled a 4th installment of found kid art

Elise has a concrete collection. She calls it her Concrete Collection.
It changes shapes, characters, & formations.
Today it is a monument to a googly-eyed bear, bedecked in hotglue n' seashells.
Our Reluctant Hero

&
Yesterday marked the 4th time I've been rudely hit on by a teenage boy. It wasn't the worst instance but this one took his pants off in front of the laundromat as I approached! (wuuthufuuuuck?) He had on boxers beneath & his friend chuckles "Damn dood, what are you going swimming?" to which the boy replies, gesturing toward me as I pass "Only if she comes with me." I look down & shake my head all shame-shame. So later, on my way back he waits on the sidewalk, blocking my path to ask "You gonna come swimmin' with me?" to which I give an abrupt No. "Why not?!" "Because it's raining, you're crazy & plenty of other reasons." His boys jeered him. Imagine the headline; 30yr Old Woman Beats Hell Out of 14yr Old Boy. They get braver in groups, you know, enough to be unnerving. Ain't nothin' fun. Hmmthat reminds me to have a talk with my son later.

&
found a poem;
World of Hurt
brang me-da broom
i'm fin-uh woop me
some ass
i know ain't nobody did dis shit but dem.
lookadis mess. i'm-oh teh day ass up fah sho.
where my mop at?

&
had a laughing fit over my sister's necklace this, atrocious gift from a lady she babysits for; dig if you will a single domino strung along a green ribbon with an orange multifaceted bead dangling from the domino! It was the most terrifically ugly thing I'd seen in a long time, so I took a moment to recall the first ten horrible gifts that come to mind;
a shiny patent leather color block style purse
dangling monopoly board earrings
a garth brooks cassette
clowns ever of any kind
red sweater with glitter puff-paint poinsettias
tiny crystal hand holding a tiny crystal vase
a big fake gold platter w/ 5 stinky beige candles
hand made hotglued ribbon hair barrettes
cookie jar that said something when i open it (but not for long)
big stuffed velvet smiling flower

&
Dear Prince, I love you. Please don't molest no kids.

Comments

re: teenage boys needing attitude adjustments

[mr-quackenbush.livejournal.com]

because that would be hilarious. he hits on you. you sidle up to him all nonchalant and pump 200,000 volts into his ass.

seriously though, next time that happens, you need to up the shame. use phrases like "little boy" and maybe grab him by the ear and get his mother's phone number to report him. guys like that need taking down a peg.

Re: re: teenage boys needing attitude adjustments

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

usually it is a group though. & they are larger than i.
the bravado comes in numbers.

my mama's buying me one of those for christmas!

[quiet-flame.livejournal.com]

I have the opposite problem: old intellectual dudes trying to lure me in with talk of Nietzsche and Keats. Boys are losers at any age.

If I were a boy, I'd hit on you by serenading you with Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" and offering you a crumpet. Good thing I'm not a boy.

My neighbor gave me a set of hangers for my 5th birthday. And my stepmother's parents used to send me awful designer knockoff perfume every Christmas, reminding me each time that "We only give our grandchildren presents until their 18th birthday. You have two years left." Sad, because I'm really running low on my "Chaneel 87".

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

if i was a boy i would take my pants off & ask you to go swimming with me run to the store to get midol & tampons for you if you needed them, & make you a Mixed Tape of Luv & feed you strawberries!

hahaha ew stinky perfume. i prefer CK-1/2 mah-self.

[mr-quackenbush.livejournal.com]

when I was at berklee one of my buddies decided he was going to ask his high school crush out for a date because he'd never had the guts to do it in high school, and they'd been "really good friends" for years. So he and I and three other guys took electric guitars and drum kits keyboards and amplifiers in the middle of the night down to her dorm, an all girl dorm, and set up on the grass outsider her window. We then began to serenade her with Don't Stop Believing, with my buddy singing (and he had this ridiculous range, could totally hit all the steve perry high notes) from the grass. By the end of the song there were about a hundred girls in their underwear standing in their windows watching us play, and at the end Chris goes climbing up the drain pipe outside her window and proposes to her right then and there while i was playing my outro solo, one hand on the pipe, and the other holding out some flowers. It was the most stupidly romantic moment i've ever taken part in, and you just mentioned Don't Stop Believing, so I figured I'd share.

oh, she said yes, and as far as I know they're still together.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

that's just sick.

[quiet-flame.livejournal.com]

Oh my god. I need to show this story to Tim.

[ourglasslake.livejournal.com]

Ooh, my grandmother gave me a set of tweezers for Christmas a couple years ago.

But she has Alzheimer's, so I didn't take it personally.

I am in love with the fact that Elise has a Concrete Collection.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

i asked her why she collected concrete yesterday & she said because "one rock has a bunch of tiny rocks inside"

she's economic! thas my girl!

damn

[browniegirl322.livejournal.com]

List of ways I am going to try and pick up S. once i get the chance

[ ]dirty poetry
[ ]cooking her angel food cake
[ ]just be naked
[ ]take off my pants in front of a laundromat and ask her to go swimming
[ ]candlelit dinner
[ ]make some sort of fancy art
[x]crochet jewlery


what's a girl to do?

Re: damn

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

aw girl you had me at hello! completely woo'd. sit back n' relax. ;)

Re: damn

[browniegirl322.livejournal.com]

are you sure? i make a FANTABULOUS angel food cake (which you would throw up after seeing me nakies lol)

animals striking curious poses

[lowhumcrush.livejournal.com]

oh I love the heat, the heat between me and YOU.

don't make me chase you. even doves have pride.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

the part on Little Red Corvette that makes me blush every time;

girl you got an ass like i never seen
& the ride
i say the ride is so smooth
you must be a limousine

& he's not even talking about me!

U r flying aboard the Seduction 747

[tericol.livejournal.com]

that's my favorite part to sing at karaoke!

Re: U r flying aboard the Seduction 747

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

omg.

do you go OW! all high-pitched afterward like Roger does?

Re: U r flying aboard the Seduction 747

[tericol.livejournal.com]

Only in private - I haven't worked up to that publicly yet ;)

Re: U r flying aboard the Seduction 747

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

indeed, seem like it would take alot of nerve.

damn i am rockin' bob marley in my cube. i love you!

Re: U r flying aboard the Seduction 747

[tericol.livejournal.com]

I am kickin' myself for selling off all of my cd's, especially since I just ordered up replacement Aretha, Nina, Billie and Toni Childs. Thanks goodness for music clubs!

Smooches!

[amieinstereo.livejournal.com]

i was hit on by a boy who was about 15 once when i was at the movies alone.
Sadly, i'd gone to see the J-Lo movie Enough (i did like it, though) and a kid asked me what time it was, when the movie ended and finally, if i would hold his hand!
These kids got balls, yo.

That color block purse is FUGLY.
i hope you took that shit BACK, girlfriend.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

damn. ain't no shame ta be had.
last year it was this one puppy in target following me around "hey mama. hey mama, can i come home with you, mama?" go me!

yeah that purse. poor cow.

[amieinstereo.livejournal.com]

In Target, no less! Oh man, if a kid called me "mama," i think i'd deck him.

[pachamama.livejournal.com]

Having run into Prince several times in clubs in Minneapolis in the late 80's I can reassure you is sexuality is fully formed and adult in nature.

Thank U 4 flying Prince International

tonight yr a star. & i'm the big dipper

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

ooohooohoo
i read somewhere that he could play like 20+ instruments by age 18.