when no one's watching

[concretekiss]

something must've happened last night. i woke early & feeling serene like i'd had the sweetest dream (as opposed to the cop-rape one) but i can't remember what it was, so i put whipcream in my coffee & pretended to be a belly dancer in my room, to celebrate.

if you do not confess what you truly feel you in turn protect that which is most tender of you, yet disservice yourself by censorship, pretense, or facade. of course the theory is subjective to different situations, but it is rolling around in the back of my thoughts, slamming into the windows on sharp turns.

i've been ignoring alot of responsible things. i don't check my mail for days & when i do i put it in a stack with the other unopened stack. i don't save my receipts or check my bank balance. i am living on the edge, just like triple x.

but today we celebrate eeyore's birthday in the park where last year i met a silver man!

Comments

[mehinda.livejournal.com]

It's resonant with me that you bring up the "confess what you truly feel" notion. I've been toying with the idea of not telling a recent someone in my life my deepest feelings, particularly as they pertain to my deeper secrets. I'm curious if I can reinvent myself into the person I want to be.

offering up the achilles heel

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

sometimes i would rather lose a limb than to subject my softest sentiments to disdain or ridicule or worse, apathy. so i opt to make a martyr of myself.

oh good luck, prettyhead.

ooo rollins just came on my song shuffle. raaawr

Re: offering up the achilles heel

[mehinda.livejournal.com]

Rollins and I share a birthday. I like to think that if we met in person we'd have instant sympatico.

I waiver between letting loose the torrent of feelings and dreading the inevitable sorrow and pity that seems to follow, from me and from the person on whom I've just opened those floodgates.

Where's my Xanax? Where's my Vallium? Why on earth do I live in the age of psychotropics if I'm not on any of them? ;-)

Re: offering up the achilles heel

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

i at times think he's hot even though his poetry is jacked!

i wish i could tell you a good thing to do about that, but i'm SO the wraaawng gal to talk to. there've been plenty who i've left oblivious to what i felt. i'm like a fuggin' monk.

Re: offering up the achilles heel

[mehinda.livejournal.com]

At the risk of sounding all Veronica from Heathers, I should probably just let this shake out & see if this guy is worth my fucking speech deepest feelings.

sho hard to handle

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

smart cookie, you. i think yr right.

love,
corn nuts

Re: sho hard to handle

[mehinda.livejournal.com]

Bar-B-Q!

[tericol.livejournal.com]

I cast a spell on you after we talked and since I was up 'til 4 taking out braids, I kept broadcasting. Glad it worked. Or it could have been the bottle ;)

hmmm, I miss coffee mornings with flavored liqueur and you and your chilluns.

It's been rolling around my thoughts for months now. The walking on eggshells phase has ended but it's hard to give up so much ingrained behavior. Our chats always help. Loving and missing you sweetness!

Remember, it's not a true eeyore's until you see painted boobies!

mmmmm praline liqueur!

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

i miss singing with you, so. bad.
your spell worked & has been working for a while now.

Re: mmmmm praline liqueur!

[tericol.livejournal.com]

Ooooh! Look how sassy you are with that silver man!

Re: mmmmm praline liqueur!

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

i know! could i smirk any harder? i was also pretty chubby.

hi pretty

[ladynoblebarnes.livejournal.com]

I NEVER get my mail. I'm really bad about it. I let it pile and pile and pile and finally my mailman took it away and I had to go to the post office and wait 35 minutes and then pick it up. So now I get it once every ten days or so. I also do not keep receipts. The computer balances my account for me.

Point being? Don't feel bad.

Things you think and don't say: sometimes I get super sad that you don't live here and we can't hang out. For reals.

Re: hi pretty

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

hahahaa! we don't need no steenkin mail. we are like stephen segal & jean claude vandam. i'm segal

ooo me too, chicita. we would ro-ho-hoock this town. i will put you on my People to Meet Before I Die list.

Re: hi pretty

[ladynoblebarnes.livejournal.com]

Just call me Jay Cee Vee Dee

I hope you see lots of silver men today and no silverfish.

[sofarfrom78.livejournal.com]

I envy you and the uber cool town you live in! This summer it's oooooon!

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

yes it is SO. ON. we can skip down the sidewalk like laverne & shirley!

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

gonna make it right! tonight tonight tonIIIIiiight.

[cowboyjesus.livejournal.com]

Is triple x a thing or a person? (sorry. me no watchee TV.)

Silver man looks like one of those bog bodies Bord na Mona' dug up in Eire with a peat cutter...only fresher, and shiny.

What's the gig about that, I mean, besides surreal juxtapositioning?

Gotta be acrylic paint. Gotta be.

Such dedication to a principle, of shiny.

(Did he have tan lines?)