concretekiss

Let me save you some time. We begin
with two incomplete and co-dependant morons, at least one
preferably hiding some socially debilitating yet somehow
charming eccentricity, exhibits signs of mild schizophrenia
obsessive compulsiveness, hides it like a pulsating
baboon heart under his coffee shop apron or is possibly a whore.

Our fools meet through a series of zany incidents to find
they’ve never been truly happy until now, the way you never
knew you needed Cool Ranch Doritos til the day your finger
slipped on 2 at the vending machine, and each accepts
the other’s oddities. Surely we can find something to do
with your dick shaped nose.

Now the dilemma, since good lovin’ should be hard to come by;
One must chance upon the other in the act of what appears
to be treachery; their lizard lipped lover in the embrace of some
stranger, when really it was two secret agents speaking in Morse
Code through an innocent series of nipple pinches and THIS
is what distends into some unbearably gut-busting side-splitting
nun-punching hilarity because it’s gonna take a monumental
act of courage to reconcile.

Here is where you can hardly stand to wait for some bastards
to plow their Jaguars through store fronts
bust up the wedding, sob and grovel into the loud
speakers of your childhood, run naked through airports in nothing
but ranch dressing and hang from helicopters screaming
I love you I love you I’ve always LOVED YOU, and the drivers always
pull over and the crowds always gather cooing like jerks
with nothing better to do because oh my god Barbara it's love

and the speech always flowers like I know I lied and stabbed you
three times in the face but if you can walk away from something so right
I just don’t know what the fuck. And there you have it
cue Mentos cue strewn glass cue sidekick blowing a sheepdog
cue incredulous janitor roll credits You're welcome.