self-caged

[concretekiss]

You are wise. You have overcome so much, but it hasn't hardened you, he says, and I grin. He has been sufficiently fooled. I'm doing well.



Psychoanalysis assumes that people are often conflicted between their need to learn about themselves, and their (conscious or unconscious) fears of and defenses against change and self-exposure - wikipedia

Free association – stream of consciousness. The way water falls without conscience or deliberation. In dreams, thoughts connect, grasping hands in the dark without the constraint of caution or fear of vulnerability. Cards are shuffled and laid out, queen kisses jack, joker chases queen.

Rorschach used inkblots to trick the jaw into unlocking, and riches would pour out.

You are a stone closed cave. Your tongue, Lazarus sleepwalking.

Last night as I lay floating in a spring pool, I felt a current change nearby. A body nudged me and somehow assuming it was a cavorting child I kept my eyes closed, gave a small kick to drift away from the tangle.
But the body continued to coast into me. Nudging from beneath this time I felt legs intertwining with mine slow and carefully. I continued my refusal to acknowledge it. Chin up, eyes closed. Arms laced from below, and by then too curious I let it happen. And then fingers sliding between mine and then a mouth sweet as nectarine and I could breath underwater becoming languid and drowning and then I woke, tears cold stinging like razor cuts. A fist in my throat even as I type this out.

We wake from nightmares relieved, it’s not real. Into a soft and sweeter world.
I wake from utopian dreams teased, it’s not real. Into a monochrome second home.

Comments

[mr-quackenbush.livejournal.com]

oh pretty...

i know of such dreams.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

aren't they horrible?

[mr-quackenbush.livejournal.com]

they are the worst ever.

i think about my grandmother at the end of her life, after my grampa died. we talked a couple of times. she had those sorts of dreams.

the lesson is that they never get easier.

that picture is beautiful

[apresminuit.livejournal.com]

this entry is perfect

Re: you are beautiful

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

heh, perfectly tragic

no help no harm just another false alarm

[theazureman.livejournal.com]

I know dreams like these. I get all wrapped up in them & then they're gone; I comfort myself that in that way, they're almost like life. But we both know that's not true.

This post makes me realize how little I know you, how deep you run, how much more of you there is to know. And that makes me happy.

but not for such as you and i my love

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

yr good at accepting things like that. i've alot to learn still.

Re: no help no harm just another false alarm

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

yaaaa, that foto keeps breaking my heart!

Re: ya, shes a murmade

[theazureman.livejournal.com]

I will stare at it for 15 seconds, holding my breath, anticipating. But she never glides any closer, his arms never close around her, their lips never touch. It's aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagonnyyy.

[zombienought.livejournal.com]

Gah, so sad. So fitting with my mood.

A friend told me today that he thinks I'd
break any therapist.

I have many dreams that most people would
consider nightmares, but I consider them
adventures. That's why the few sad ones
really, really get to me.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

my nightmares are usually unspeakable.
but my 'bad dreams' are pretty neat, yeah. i don't mind snakes n things like that.

[dream-busker.livejournal.com]

"We wake from nightmares relieved, it’s not real. Into a soft and sweeter world.
I wake from utopian dreams teased, it’s not real. Into a monochrome second home."

So true and so beautiful

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

thank you mon cheri

happy weekend to you

[mojodragonfly.livejournal.com]

your dream seems like a recipe or road map for those who wish to find you. Eyes closed, of couse, in perfect gaynun fashion. There may be a kick a way, at first. Continued refusal to acknowledge until, finally, you are breathing, yet drowning in your own curiosity of the unknown possible lover.

Or not. beautifully lived and written either awy.

it's supposed to be dreamy weather

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

you would THINK but you'd be WRONG CUZ GAYNUNS DON'T BEND!

the 70's I hear

[mojodragonfly.livejournal.com]

I bet this one does:



and, just to be clear, I know she's gay cause she's my Aunt Sister Magdalene : p

falling frm grace

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

oooh, she might as well be KISSING THE DEVIL

today, i have to buy drywall and paint

[crooksandlucy.livejournal.com]

i like lying to strangers.
on the bus, i told a man how horses don't even like apples but they eat them, anyway, because they want us to like them.

Re: today, i have to buy drywall and paint

[oatmealia.livejournal.com]

D':

did you fall first sight or need you need a shoooove

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

don't worry, dove.
maybe this is a lie. we're all strangers here.

the truth hurts

[oatmealia.livejournal.com]

i just suddenly feel so grateful to horses now. ;_;

Re: the truth will set you free

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

shoot, horses have been made to do much worse for humans than simply eat apples.

they shoo horseflies, don't they?

[crooksandlucy.livejournal.com]

they don't carrot
they just wanna whinny our love

yes, usually in red stilletos

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

i would do anything for love. but i won't do that.

do tell

[crooksandlucy.livejournal.com]

erybody be wantin mah apple!

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

HA HA HA HA

yr out of control

[chocolatebark.livejournal.com]

The good thing about the sky is that it goes on forever, and there's always something different to look at, wherever you are.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

i passionately agree

[chocolatebark.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure I Was awake, but I had a really good dream just now.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

do tell, mister!

[chocolatebark.livejournal.com]

Something to do with the skies down south, and flying and sunsets that went on for ever, from orange to purple without ever hitting black.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

i like sunsets over sunrises, but they say the colors are almost the same. i like to think the sunsets are richer, and sunrises are more pastel, but i haven't proven it yet.

[piedpiper.livejournal.com]

how could you hate your poetry, mama. you ARE poetry

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

aw, yr so good to me.
i esp hate the stuff i try to write. maybe because it stinks of me trying to write it? i hope i make sense. i bet i make sense to you tho, b/c we got a connection, baby.

[piedpiper.livejournal.com]

totally get that exactly
when i TRY, i get really hammy. moons-over-my-hammy, if you can imagine.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

for me, writing a poem is like trying to be very still and quiet so a doe will walk up to you, when you want to just run up to it and give it a big HUG!
u cain't hurry luv. no, you jes have to wait.

[insert perverted comment about yr moons and hammmmmm]

[lowhumcrush.livejournal.com]

You have magical powers. Lots of 'em.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

ain't magic enough to teleport you into my lovin arms, n none of my brooms work worth a shet.

option a

[lostcosmonaut.livejournal.com]

i just woke up from a dream that they did a recount and Obama lost, because they'd made a mistake and accidentally counted every white person's vote as only 2/3 of a normal vote. I looked out th window and saw th sea; what a relief!



!--mza.

mightmares <-- oh that's my favorite typo i've made all week.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

oh lord. i em SO glad you woke UP.

Wafting lobsters

[clsisold.livejournal.com]

I love that sky.

I dreamed last night that all Toyotas had been recalled and woke when my neighbor's dog (I'm house-sitting) threw her head over my shoulder and snorted in my ear. Since I drive a Nissan I'm not sure if this dream means that I should be grateful for what I have or if it's an unconscious fear that my neighbor, who drives a Toyota will stay in Florida for the rest of his life and I'll get to come home and play on the computer for only a couple of hours each morning and each afternoon.

Re: Wafting lobsters

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

hahaha, yeah that's a tough one.
i dreamt last night there was a company musical! where all of my co-workers where forced to put on a play and dance around like fuckin Oklahoma, and i was forced to dance on stage to Tone Loc w the head of our audio engineering dept.
there was also a cycle of photos being shown on a projector to the Peter Gabriel song 'In Your Eyes.'
whaaaat?

[dearsisterirma.livejournal.com]

There's a lot of life in those clouds.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

they are very feverish.

[grammarfight.livejournal.com]

Every so often, I encounter someone about whom I think I wish this person was my friend, because they really get me, and I really get them, but then I remember that the thing about how I feel and that getting gotten by someone is that you both know that the favorite place to be is happy and at home and immersed in the delights of making and being amazed, which often precludes having a whole bunch of friends. But it's like looking at pigeons on a wire. I don't necessarily want to climb the pole and join them, but I thank the great wide world for them every time I see them up there.

No relation to anything, I know, but this entry lodged in me brain like a seed and that's somethin' that sprouted. As a person more lyrical than myself once said, "I am enamored of yr words."

[featherveins.livejournal.com]

i so wish that we were closer so that we could have a date. something really fun, some adventure. or maybe even we could just go somewhere for a cup of tea or to a gallery & stand in awe of the beautiful things.

and on a lighter note...