poem #12, poem a day challenge someone stop meeeeeeee

[concretekiss]

love is like a wild wild goose chase.
see, not only are the geese
wild but the chasing
of the geese
is also wild

Comments

[simpletwice.livejournal.com]

Love is like a dog chasing a fast car.
not only the dog, and the chasing,
but also the car SO FAST how can it possibly
have tooth marks in its tires.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

love is like smoke & mirrors
not just regular smoke & mirrors
but the trick kind

[stefan11.livejournal.com]

nice, like the double repetiotion of "wild."

I would work on the breaks, though.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

what about the breaks stefan? what do i have to do? how can i make this right?

[stefan11.livejournal.com]

I am not sure what you are aiming at. The breaks do not really work for me as enjembents. So, I would go for something really simple like this:

love is [drop like] a wild wild goose chase [no period, if you don't use the caps]
not only are the geese wild
but the chasing of the geese is also wild

or

love is a wild wild goose chase
the geese are wild
and so is the chase

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

i like the first edits you made. i'm sort of playing because i think the poem's kind of silly, so i wanted to make the breaks jagged & melodramatic. but i will consider your considerations!

[stefan11.livejournal.com]

This poem just really is a bit silly, there is no way around it.

Incidentally, here is a community I started for very short poems: 52seasons. Some folks might have other things to say.

sir i refuse to stop you

[lostcosmonaut.livejournal.com]

hahahahayou are correct sir

--mza.

Re: sir i refuse to stop you

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

we are mutual Ed McMahons.

hahahahaha....YES!

[theonlyguyever.livejournal.com]

this part of "love &communication" makes me think of you:

Learning more and more about less and less and less
On the edge of your seat in some dark movie
Can you memorize the scenes
They'll be different next week

ahem.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

yes, i remember a certain dark movie.

[sofarfrom78.livejournal.com]

Word. I still love your Courtney Love icon. teeheehee (It's the mouth! You have a beautiful pouty mouth that drives the boys wild!).

By the way, what are your big plans for the summer? Shawn and I and some girlfriends (awww yeah) are planning on coming to Austin probably sometime in June, so start planning now! :)

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

oh you stop that! it's my feel-tha-luv icon. ;)

june would be perfect for you to veezeet! bring yr skinny ass on over. you still have my number?

[cowboyjesus.livejournal.com]

Keep Goin' (Poem per day)! You have a cheering section already.

I don't know why, but your "Cheeto Beard" makes me think of that portrait of the Dutch Masters...I mean, the real one, not the Larry Rivers de-constructionist (pop art) version.

And when you really think about it, a guy cannot look directly into a woman's lips...when close. It's always the eyes.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

I am like Shakespeare but with cheetos!

& well, when close I'd imagine the mouths are missing in action.

[cowboyjesus.livejournal.com]

Please write a poem which interprets this expression:



But first say whether she is turning back in distraction, or turning back to give better attention.

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

of course i will fight the "whether/or" of the assignment & make up my own reasons for why she is turning back, but i will do this! i'm due 6 more poems to catch up & so this prompt is a nice kickstart, thankyou.

[rebirtha.livejournal.com]

Why do I love this poem?

;) haaaay

[flightviolation.livejournal.com]

goose fan?

[rebirtha.livejournal.com]

must've been the roses.