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"A baby zebra can scramble to his feet and walk soon after birth, & indeed most other animal babies hit the ground running. But human babies are born helpless & unformed. In our distant past, as we evolved our big brains, women did not evolve big hips to go with them. Evolution faced a dilemma. Big-brained humans had a better chance at survival. Small-hipped women died in childbirth. Big-hipped women were too slow on their feet & couldn't escape predators. It was not the only possible solution by any means, but the one that happened was that women evolved slightly bigger hips and babies were born while they were still essentially fetuses. Thus a woman could protect her infant while it continued growing, now outside her body, but sheltered by the womb of her obsessive concern. And if a father could be persuaded to stick around, he would protect both the mother & her baby during this dangerous period. It was a rather clumsy, iffy & complicated solution, true, but evolution proceeds by barter & handshake, not by proclamation...

Our violent nature is what makes love possible. Totally peaceful creatures would not need the balm of love. Glance in the mirror, and a predator stares back at you. Prey animals --antelope, horses, cows, deer-- have eyes located at the sides of the head, so that they can watch for danger, creeping up behind them. In contrast, the tiger has eyes facing front so that it can use its stereo vision to precisely pinpoint the whereabouts of the next meal, run it to the ground, & leap upon its neck with bared teeth. Humans have the eyes of a predator, which tells us something about our ancient origins. But we also have colossal brainpower. We are not just dangerous, we are ingenious. Without mechanisms for subduing our violent, craven & predatory appetites, we would have wiped ourselves out, adding our name to the long roll of extinction. But evolution gave us a powerful peacemaker. Our ability to love has saved us from ourselves."
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until around 17, the closest thing to my house besides a gas station was a rinky-dink library, about a mile away consisting of one room, & about 5 stacks. I would ride my bike to it blind of boredom, my skinny black dog galloping alongside. I spent summers copying Whitman into my notebook, eyeliner tips from Teen Magazine. In my plastic wallet I carried love scenes. Surreptitiously extracted from novels with an exacto knife were the parts of stories where people got what they gave, last goodbyes, & first kisses so heartrending the lovers had to ‘come up for air,’ like fuckin’ narwhals.
I was the King Haggard of the Gunter Branch Library, somehow insatiable, starving for beauty in a muddy shit-town, my imagination cultivated by isolation & paucity. Without one certain page, Rapunzel stays in the tower, Snow White keeps sleeping. We wait hours & lives for divine intervention. Triumphs that without, render the stories banal, I scavenged. What lovesick lass giddily turned the page to find the fragment of an unrequited confession? Maybe I did her a favor I don't know.
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Moron if I have recited my birthday, zodiac sign, birthstone, & address to you with my eyes closed, by now I don't care to discuss how old I look. The way it works is I show you the card & you give me the beer for the love of God you donkeywhore.

There was a cricket somewhere in my bathroom last night strumming his harpsichord lamenting & lovelorn so that I dreamt of anthropod romance an oh Debbie how I long to kiss each segment your wings, softer than lettuce, & your delicate antennae go on for miles oh Debbie your thorax so supple, oh Debbie Marigold meet me on the towel rack & we will make sweet love in the soap dish. & each time I'd stumble in half awake, he would quiet himself & hide, leaving me wondering if I were sleepwalking again. But I found him this afternoon in the bottom of the tub. He only had one leg & glowered up at me with a look of resignation, humiliated as I carried him outside to stagger under the yucca.

Did you know you can tell the temperature of the air by a cricket's chirp? However many chirps in 13 seconds plus 40 calculates the degrees in fahrenheit.

Also, the entire town of Hershey, Pennsylvania smells of chocolate, thus I think it would also be safe to say that everyone there has a beard of pimples.
concretekiss: (i am sorrow)
9000 degrees F

causes molten rock deep within the mantle layer to move. Warm earth rises, cools, and eventually sinks. As the cool descends toward the Earth’s core it is warmed and slowly rises to the top again forming mountains, volcanoes & islands. The cyclic movement is called a convection cell. Circles within a circle.

The process of this lithospheric sliding toward the Earth's core is called subduction. The tectonic slab that is pushed into the Earth melts as its edges reach a depth hot enough. 1000 degrees is the melting point of our lithosphere.

Continental collision, a variational result of subduction, is when a subduction zone is destroyed, mountains are produced, and two continents are spliced together.

Orogeny - mountain formation.

Orogenic movement increases rain & snowfall, at a rate of 1 mm/year, a 5,000m (around 3 miles) tall mountain can form in 5 million years. River systems form, and glaciers may grow on the highest peaks.

("The lower layers of glacial ice flow and deform plastically under the pressure, allowing the glacier as a whole to move slowly like a viscous fluid. Glaciers do not need a slope to flow, being driven by the continuing accumulation of new snow at their source. The upper layers of glaciers are more brittle, and often form deep cracks known as crevasses or Bergshrunds as they flex. Glacial meltwaters flow throughout and underneath glaciers, carving channels in the ice similar to caves in rock and also helping to lubricate the glacier's movement.")

Erosion accelerates as the mountain ascends. Sediment is shed into the rivers, to be deposited in basins in the surrounding lowlands. Crustal rocks are thrust faulted over the sediments as the mountain belt broadens, as it rises in height.
Convergence between the continents continues for the tectonic plate pulled down by sinking oceanic lithosphere into the subduction zone on either side of the collision as well as beneath a buoyant continent.
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My ladyfriend has a stethoscope with which we all took turns listening to tiny drums. Each seemed to have its own personality. The boy's a pensive gallop & my girl's was exuberant, giddy as a hungry baby bird.

I asked her over lunch yesterday how she'd become so adorable to which she replied because I came out of your belly & you love me. I'm your precious little one, as matter-of-factly as you please. well-ok. I could not protest.

5.6 liters of blood circulate through the body three times every minute.
In one day, the blood travels a total of 12,000 miles, 4 times the distance across the US from coast to coast. There are great journeys forged within us.

The generator of the heart's vital electrical signals has yet to be sourced. The beat of mine sounds deliberate, prideful, mocking of my practical thoughts & I think of the old nursery rhyme; The Lion & the Unicorn were fighting for the crown. The Lion beat the Unicorn all around the town.

When one is alarmed, threatened, or enraged the heart speeds up, preparing its body for fight or flight. It reacts in the same manner to strong affection, believing itself to be in danger. Roughly 100,000 times a day this boy cries wolf, leads me off gets me lost. Faulty calculator. Despondent circuit-breaker.
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there was big rain & wind here last night. the power went out around 11 & i played pioneer, cradling my candle, eyes rivetted to a flickerattling window. on my way home from work i saw moss & branches caught halfway through hurricane fences like the arrows through hearts we drew in 3rd grade.
now i glance at the news on mute, visuals of fallen tree damage, beehive bedecked ladies, their hands butterflying about the storm. severe weather! severe weather! my song shuffle goes under the milkyway to-night.

found diary entry; oct. 13, 1996 "my former self lies deathly still, knocked unconscious by the jabs & kicks of a tiny boy making his way through me," & i am nowhere less melodramatic than i've always been. watch.

no one seems to care that love's ideal is becoming extinct or that movies will be 15 minutes long after fuckin' 2 hours of previews. see it's a slow process & sneakin' up on us. before you know it a month will be considered a long term relationship. we will reduce our lifespans to those of locusts & mayflies.

ok ok ok ok
ok............ok. ok. i'm being waggish

here is Joyride by Cody Chestnut from Me, You & Everyone We Know, a vital, humble, & arresting film.
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of scooped-out grins, eyes
twitching & miceful i left
jack-o-lantern town

If a small girl comes to you, eyes ablaze. If she comes grubby hands full of driveway gravel & I brought you some diamonds she says, you better heave her into the sky, flaunt her to the stars & kiss her hard, like you don't know the difference.

If there were a switch located within that once pulled, would irreversibly free you from any desire for physical affection, would you pull it?
concretekiss: (Default)
something must've happened last night. i woke early & feeling serene like i'd had the sweetest dream (as opposed to the cop-rape one) but i can't remember what it was, so i put whipcream in my coffee & pretended to be a belly dancer in my room, to celebrate.

if you do not confess what you truly feel you in turn protect that which is most tender of you, yet disservice yourself by censorship, pretense, or facade. of course the theory is subjective to different situations, but it is rolling around in the back of my thoughts, slamming into the windows on sharp turns.

i've been ignoring alot of responsible things. i don't check my mail for days & when i do i put it in a stack with the other unopened stack. i don't save my receipts or check my bank balance. i am living on the edge, just like triple x.

but today we celebrate eeyore's birthday in the park where last year i met a silver man!
concretekiss: (Default)
love is like a wild wild goose chase.
see, not only are the geese
wild but the chasing
of the geese
is also wild
concretekiss: (Default)
Waxing Dorothy Parker

bring them great furious tigers to break
& bearskin backside-lined beds
bloody-horned beasts to wrangle & stake
& roaring Goliaths to behead

bedeck them in satins & badge their fine breasts
for occasions so noble & thrilling
a spangled new trophy for each concurred pest
bright sequin for every new killing

but spare them oh please from a monster so grave
that its name, some can scarcely speak of
so grizzly it yellows hearts touted most brave
no nothing's so terrible as love
concretekiss: (Default)
[Greek] hippos-Horse kampos-Sea Monster

Sea Horse & Memory Reservoir

The Hippocampus is part of the Limbic System. It forms memories, conjures emotions (which are the medium of memory), & hones spacial skills for navigation. During sleep it compresses new memories by order of importance into permanent memory & transfers them to the Neopallium...or the archives. Evolutionarily the Hippocampus is one of the oldest parts of the mammalian brain & most pronounced in primates & cetecean sea mammals. Its name was given in reference to its resemblance to a seahorse, & all that that entails. I haven't figured out yet what the connection is supposed to mean, but this is to say I'm fascinated.

concretekiss: (Default)
Oh my sexy quantum poll vaulter
breaking causal chains of injustice,
teaching aged misers a lesson in greed,
warning heedless dictators of their
impending doom my black cat, my
sandman, with your comet sling shot
& metronome! No decompression psychosis,
teleportation warp, wormhole lag can assuage
you my dangerously
important love.
wounded traveler, oh meteor scourged
possible impossibility, my skin too mortal
too diaphanous to trek I will wait
with salve to dress your travel injuries
to kiss your wincing brow to here, let me
carefully. squeeze your butt it’s been a long.
hard. century. OH
TTB, OH time traveler boyfriend, whose name
transcends the human language OH
ChittylopaShalazamo47883Hut tell me of your
journeys, the places you’ve seen of Rome
Mars & Pangaea, of Shakespeare backstage,
Lady Day’s gardenia, Mozart’s allegretto
laughter & how Cleopatra wasn’t all that
hot, well not as hot as me
at least oh 18th century steeplechaser, light
speed Magellan.


Feb. 20th, 2006 02:45 pm
concretekiss: (Default)
people disappoint me. those who i expect to know me well, who
i've exposed my most tender parts to have all eventually treated
me as callously as we'd never met, negating each moment i spent
in confidence so that it's no wonder i am gunshy. grudges have
most often protected me. trust has most often made me a fool
so that i've come to prefer that if someone is going to be kind
it's best it come as a pleasant surprise. i struggle with wondering
if perhaps i've developed some ridiculous standard by which i
hold others that i should lower. but i see those others call
certain associations that i personally would choose to sever
Friendship, & therefore opt for solitude. i see those others
settle for nothing but to avoid loneliness. it is a stone under
my tongue i turn. by angered others i've been called impossible,
insufferable, unpleasable & condemned to live a lonely life if i
remained so. yet i remain so. until someone convinces me that it's
no better to actually be alone & feel lonely than to have
someone right fucking beside you & feel like The Last Asshole @
The Party. is it any wonder, really that i reserve, or resign.

Don't worry; I burnt my lunch & my hand so naturally I hate everyone's guts.
concretekiss: (Default)
No, no Maria I’m not in a relationship, because, well because
I think men feel uncomfortable around ladies who are funnier, smarter, cuter, hotter, crazier, more fashionable, nicer-assed, more fascinating, tougher, buxomer, sparklier, better liquid eyeliners, rufflier, getting more orgasms, tinier, longer-haired, bigger-boobed, fuller-lipped, better read, faster runners, higher jumpers, badder assers, awesomer slam-dunkers, more un-untie-able knot tiers, more agile wrestlers, sexier dancers, beautifuller singers, better at french braids, softer-mouthed, finer-boddied, gracefuller, nimbler gymnasts, more intelligent scientists, wittier, more clued-up about music, cleaner, experter, more experienced in checkers, more certified to operate spaceships, shinier-fingernailed, butt-punchinger, hotter lovers, articulater, prettier-eyed, intenser prayers, not as dumb or hairy as, better dressed, handier, more aromatic, better founders of organizations, smoother-skinned, craftier, generally more amazing & more skilled in all forms of martial art
than they are.
concretekiss: (Default)
Playing with a baby ball python I ran my index finger down the white of his belly. He helixes, tightens his muscles about my shoulders & rests his head on my neck, sniffing behind my ear. They love this I’ve discovered, I tell the shop owner, I think it tickles them. Well you’re imprinting him, she tells me, which is why he’s responding positively. He’s still a baby & you’re one of the first to handle him. I felt poignant for the little guy all of a sudden, all by his baby self in the aquarium &, thought maybe I should put him down so that his new owner can be primary imprinter.

You’ve seen it in the cartoons where a bright gosling hatches, looks up & inquires saucer-eyed of a baffled wolf in a newsboy cap “mother?”

In ethology (the study of animal behavior, founded by Australian naturalist Konrad Lorenz) imprinting is defined as “an automatic response to specific stimuli at a time when the animal is especially sensitive to those stimuli.” With ducklings this sensitive time is the first 10-20 hours, with humans it begins after birth & is reinforced thoughout the lifespan, bonding, remembering, recording the scents & textures & sounds of love ones, defenders, allies. Tattoos impossible to remove.

Since the behavior is instinctive, hard wired like the sucking behavior in infants, it is why a baby duckling can adore a human being, or even an inanimate object as long as it provides the necessary stimuli like sound & movement, a remote control car, or an arrogant actor with the head of a donkey if Robin Goodfellow deems it so. It all depends on who he sees first while 'anointed.'

"The offspring must immediately recognize its parent, because threatening events, such as the attack by a predator or by other adults could occur just after hatching. Thus, imprinting is reliable to induce the formation of a strong social bond between offspring and parent, even if it is the wrong one."

I am so concerned with love the way one becomes concerned
with a trade they've yet & wish to master. I observe,
calculate, & attempt to quantify it & there's not even a name
for the study of it other than being shoved under psych or
anthropology. Even ants have their own Ology, & love is more
important than ants. Ants can't even love.
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