concretekiss: (Default)
[personal profile] concretekiss
small death
I was going to get my toolbox, when I found him fallen on the balcony. I blushed and swore and stammered so badly my son embraced me.

He lay there peacefully as if sleeping, unmarred, belly full of mice hearts, dreaming of moon gossip. His talons were clasped together and the down of his abdomen looked so soft it felt disrespectful to notice how it glowed and faded into the air like a flame. He weighed little more than a paper plane when I lifted him. I wrapped his body in a green pillow case, lowered him into a shoebox coffin and drew a heart on the box over where his would be.

Then at sunset we carried him to the forest, where off the trail my daughter and I gathered stones for his tiny tomb. We propped a spiky cedar stump atop the monument, a crown for the night king.


Date: 2010-01-11 04:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
oh how dignified

Re: sign

Date: 2010-01-11 04:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
yes, i thought he looked very royal

Re: you are magical

Date: 2010-01-11 05:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
oooh, COVET
he has a nice shape for a symmetrical tattoo, as well.

Date: 2010-01-11 06:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You're such a beautiful writer.

I stared at both owl pictures for a long time when you posted them on flickr. He looks so peaceful.

Date: 2010-01-11 01:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
thank you meg. so are you!

he does look like a daydreamer, and as though he had been very healthy when he lived. i'm thinking about painting him.

Date: 2010-01-11 06:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
My heart is broken. Thank you for returning him to the forest at sunset. Thank you for these tears burning in my eyes.

Date: 2010-01-11 01:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
i couldn't make myself throw him away or call maintenance to dispose of him.
he seemed too... distinguished.


Date: 2010-01-11 04:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I imagine he looks so peaceful because he knew that this was the place to close his eyes, that you'd send him off proper. I'm sorry for how you felt when you found him, but I'm weirdly not saddened -- I mean, what a beautiful, triumphant, dignified way to go.

Date: 2010-01-11 04:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
yeah i don't think i would mind a lady and her daughter makin me a mausoleum in the woods.
ah, i'm tearing again.

Date: 2010-01-11 04:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I imagine he looks so peaceful because he knew that this was the place to close his eyes, that you'd send him off proper.

Okay, now I'm crying!

Date: 2010-01-11 07:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
now you're making ME cry

Date: 2010-01-11 01:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
awh, mat-choo. hugs.

Date: 2010-01-11 08:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
belly full of hearts! Why must you make me cry.

I liked reading this, as sad as it was. Small deaths are still big to the creatures they happen to, I bet. I'm glad this one got a good send-off.

Date: 2010-01-11 01:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
my heart sounded off when i saw him. took me a while to calm down enough to pick him up.

i'm comforted to know i have friends as weepy and sentimental as i!!

Date: 2010-01-11 02:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It's wonderful to know there are people like you out there. I used to raise homing pigeons, and so, I have internal snapshots inside of the entire lifespan of birds. It all came to an end when our very patient neighbor in the suburbs finally complained.

Date: 2010-01-11 03:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
i am fascinated by this. the lady has a camera perched in a nest box.
i don't think i could ever raise birds, but they are magical little things.

Date: 2010-01-11 02:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
whoa whoa whoa

my mother volunteers at a shelter for birds of prey, can I show her the shot?

Date: 2010-01-11 03:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
sure you can. raptors are my favorite. it's unfair when they get a bad rep.

Date: 2010-01-11 03:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

Date: 2010-01-11 03:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
i know, at first i kept lamenting like a kid "why! why did this happen?!"

Date: 2010-01-11 03:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
oh my heart
you take such good care

Date: 2010-01-11 03:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
thanks bella. i try.

as usual, in awe of you

Date: 2010-01-11 03:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
To learn to give oneself permission to grieve and to celebrate the lives of the fallen with dignity, these are gifts to your children.

Re: as usual, in awe of you

Date: 2010-01-11 03:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
i'm grateful my own mother instilled these things in me. and thanks, lady. i miss you.

Re: as usual, in awe of you

Date: 2010-01-11 05:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Go lookit, I sang you a song.

Re: as usual, in awe of you

Date: 2010-01-11 05:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
oh oh, yr voice is so soft and warm. thanks, unicorn.

Date: 2010-01-11 04:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
very honorable. the forest salutes you. meanwhile, I am cryin at my desk WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME LOVELY no really I love it

Date: 2010-01-11 05:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
i am such a sentimental sad sack! but i'm in good company. ;)


Date: 2010-01-11 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I love birds of prey, with their hooked beaks and gnarled talons. When I was younger, the fur-bearing prey held my sympathy. Then I got a garden. Now I cheer when the hawks sail through my yard in search of rabbit.

There is a raptor rescue place near my parents' home. My father took a hawk there and they patched him up but good. The rescue folks called to see if my father wanted to see the bird released (or take it back to his place and release it). He is not that sentimental. I would have gone and cried.

Thank you for sharing.

Date: 2010-01-11 10:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
awh, the little hoods they have to wear over their heads to keep them from getting upset! i have seen them snatch squirrels right out of trees like it ain't no thing.

a couple years ago i took the kids to a raptor preservation society exhibit, and was astounded. a baywing hawk flew so low over the crowd his tail feathers brushed my face. and their eyes are so intense it's like they can see right through to yr heart! sky sharks.

Date: 2010-01-11 10:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
There is a perch across the river from my office where several bald eagles watch the open water in search of snax. Seeing that puts the awe back in awesome!

Date: 2010-01-11 11:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
oh how lucky you are to get to see them free like that.

Date: 2010-01-12 04:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Holy shit, I just realized this was an owl. I glanced over this post several times without even realizing. How amazing and beautiful!

Date: 2010-01-12 04:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
and I'm not at all surprised he chose your porch out of all the porches.

Date: 2010-01-12 02:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
i hope we left him in a safe place where he can spend away in peace

Date: 2010-01-12 05:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Aww, poor, cold owl. If only
we all could have such won-
derful interments.

How big was it?

And also, eight arms to hold
your wrist:

Date: 2010-01-12 02:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
it was the size of my 5 1/2 shoe. a full grown screech owl. poor thing.

and i have wanted that bracelet for weeks now on etsy. you could hang little charms on it even! give him a teddy bear or starfeeshes!

Date: 2010-01-12 07:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
For a time I worked alongside this guy who has raised all manner of birds. He really should have considered academia morem but seemed more content to sell peacock feathers, and pheasant chicks. But anyway, in late spring 1997 he rescued a hawk that was left in the nest after parents and two other fledglings all began to fly. It was really high up in a cottonwood too. It's illegal unless you have some special permit, but it would have starved to death. So...everyday coming back from installing burgler bars in the city and whatnot we'd stop at his house and he'd feed his baby hawk. He fed it chicken livers. I don't know if or how he taught it how to hunt or live on its own. I think he said it caught up with the parents and was able to survive. I do know that he kept incredible vigil over all the wildlife going on in back of his house. He probably still does.

Date: 2010-01-12 02:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
so cool.
at the preservation society demonstration. they taught the hawks to hunt by tying dead mice to a long rope and teasing them, like balls of yarn for a cat. would throw them into the air and swing them like pendulums and the hawks would dive for them. it was wild to watch.
i'd love to have a raven maybe, or bird of prey, but i'm not really a parrot or canary kind of person.

Date: 2010-01-12 04:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
animals and humans alike are lucky that you are so good.

Date: 2010-01-12 05:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
that's nice of you to say, beautiful.

Date: 2010-01-13 10:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
This is such a beautiful poem.

Date: 2010-01-13 02:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
thank you miss. i got inspired.


concretekiss: (Default)

August 2010


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